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Dying Natisni Priporoči prijatelju
Napisal/a Andreya, v sobota, 01. mar. 08
Ocena urednika:   
Ocena uporabnikov:      (0 glas)
 

What can I do?
I'm all alone again...
I had a lost and then a gain...
Now everything is in vain...
And I'm dying in pain...

I don't need your sympathy.
So just go away!
There's nothing to see
And nothing to say.

Where have all the doctors gone?
This is really not the time.
'Cause February has ended
And memories have faded...

My heart is burning like matches
And everyone can get a flame...
The time has come.

I thought that it was just a game...
Now I see!
Now I believe...


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 Komentarji uporabnikov (1) KOmentar RSS
Objavil/a Providence, v 02-03-2008 00:20,
1. dying
Now here we have an example of over-rhyming, especially in the first strophe. It starts like a mediocre pop song. But then it hits you. Right there: 
Where have all the doctors gone? 
This is really not the time. 
'Cause February has ended 
And memories have faded... 
 
My heart is burning like matches 
And everyone can get a flame...
 
 
This is a straight A. Even an A+. I'd throw everything out and just keep that as an autonomous poem. And then I'd mark all five stars ;)
 
P.
 





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