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another common song Natisni Priporoči prijatelju
Napisal/a isoncek, v nedelja, 24. feb 08
Ocena urednika:   
Ocena uporabnikov:      (1 glas)
 

Meeting you was like a storm
That strikes above my head,
Is like a bright light shining more
That all good things I had.
Knowing you is a mystery
That hurts more than a pain,
That makes me wait there thirsty
Like a plant that longs for rain.

 

Loving you is like a song,
I wish so much to write,
But although life does seem so long-
We'll always have to hide...
And you'll never really have me,
You'll not be here to see
That what we have and do and feel
Is Love and Fear to me.

I take this love,
it fills my heart
As nothing until now,
I accept the fear as a great start...
To - know myself somehow!
A Secret stands in a place of name
I don't dare to say at all.
My heart is full of you ...the same...
And Love prevails it all.


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 Komentarji uporabnikov (2) KOmentar RSS
Objavil/a Providence, v 12-04-2008 01:03,
1. slightly common
yet magical, mystic and attractive in its purposefulness and honesty. 
Čestitke tudi k rimi in ritmu, temi pa ostajaš zvesta ;)
Popraviti bi veljalo: 
- shining (sklepam, da si mislila shine, ne shin) 
- more than, ne that 
- more than I a pain?? 
- bes. red bi zamenjala: I wish so much to write 
- what we have and do and feel is Love and Fear for me >>> si mislila tole: kar imava, počneva, čutiva, je zame Ljubezen in Strah? potem ni for me, ampak to me. For me pa zveni, kot da imata, čutita zate Ljubezen in Strah. 
- in še ritem, ki se ti podre: to get to know myself somehow >>> get to izpustiš, pa je (ne čutim, da bi odvzela esenco verzu s tem izpustom) 
 
Zadnji verz mi je pa najboljši! 
P.
 

Objavil/a isoncek, v 12-04-2008 11:19,
2. slightly more common :)
thx.. :p  
You are so very right. 
Correction completed. 
 
Kočijaž :)  
 
PS: tisto "get to" 
know... sem dodala pozneje, ja zelo poruši ritem, pa sem spet vrgla ven.  
 
Hm, zadnji verz je nekaj, kar ne dopušča oscilacij, oziroma, če so, jih z gotovostjo pomiri...
 





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